he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
