when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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