I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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