well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
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Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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