Say something about gay babies.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
