I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
