The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
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When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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