smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
