did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
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he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
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this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.