I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
