similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there