and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
