Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
