Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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