Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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