i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
