Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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