dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
