wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
