Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.