im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
