it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
