So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
