When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
