So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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