i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
