Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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