You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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