we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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