yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize