There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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