So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
