What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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