apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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