so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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