I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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