Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
