Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
