I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
