There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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