then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
