so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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