You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
