She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
