Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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