the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Another day, another engagement, another cat
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
