Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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