at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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