Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
