it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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