I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
