I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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