you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
