It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize