I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She announced her abortion via fbk
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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