She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
