I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
