I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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