I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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