Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
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You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize