I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Everclear isn't food dammit
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
