He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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