In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
