would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
