READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
