i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
