I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
In America we eat man semen.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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